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Decision

It’s scary to make a commitment not knowing what lies ahead.  Yes, you can find what comes right after.  But even as you follow that outcome and delve into the threads of that future, one can only go to a certain limit of what they know in the present.  With that, even those possible outcomes are merely estimates, suggestions, of what may happen in the future.  

I decide on things based on whether it is the best possible choice as popularity or morale deems it to be, and yes that’s a good way of making decisions, but it’s also wrong.  I know to trust God, and listen to God for his will, but sometimes, it feels so unclear, that even thinking about making a decision that I will eventually have to make already causes me disappointment, fearing, and continuously asking, “what if that’s not what God has planned in my life?”

I guess what’s really troubling me is the fact that I’ve set myself a future that I thought I knew was the right one ever since I was a kid and I’ve lived my life according to that, and for a while, I was certain that the future I’ve set for myself was what God wanted me to do.  And it still may be.  

God has the power to provide, but He’s also capable of taking away everything.  Maybe it’s working towards something and having it end, just like that, is what I fear? But in hindsight, i know that, there must have been a reason for it. That you must get up 8 times if you fall 7.  That trusting God is the answer, and this tumblr post is basically meaningless.

He holds my future.  He has a plan.  All I can do is have faith; be still, be patient, and trust in His will.